Whether you like your Christmas song send-ups political or a little disturbing, "Saturday Night Live" had something for you in its first December show. The female regulars on the NBC late-night comedy show, many of whom have fine singing voices, joined near the end for Mariah Carey's classic, "All I Want for Christmas Is You".
However, the "You" in the rendition fronted by Cecily Strong, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones and Aidy Bryant, is special counsel Robert Mueller, whose portrait - topped with a Santa cap - was lowered behind them as they sang. And what they want from Mueller is a resolution of the long Russia investigation, along with some comeuppance for President Trump and his team, even if it falls short of impeachment.
With apologies to Mariah, they turned the romantic holiday standard into a plea for completion of Mueller's report and an end to their anxiety. Here's one sample: "This needs to be done by Christmas. I need a frickin' ounce of cheer. I just really want my life back. Oh my God, it's been two years." Then, they got into bargaining: "I don't need a full impeachment. But we just need a little fun. Please just tell us we aren't crazy. At least indict his oldest son."
Even with that, Strong couldn't maintain a cheery facade, suffering a mini-panic attack before her "SNL" sisters - by now the troupe's other female players had joined in - got her back on track. They then offered one more request of the special counsel: "Mueller, please come through. Because our only other option is a coup."
However, on a night that was heavy with political humor even by "SNL" standards (and also one of the season's better offerings, including a funny PBS-style World War I letter-writing documentary with host Claire Foy and a weird movie remake segment that will destroy your childhood memories of "Willy Wonka"), those who wanted to escape the Washington follies could enjoy - if that's the right word - a nightmarish Christmas marketing opportunity for children of divorced families that featured a twisted take on the Wham! song, "Last Christmas."
In this "SNL" infomercial, December 26, or "Dad Christmas", is marketed by an exceedingly upbeat woman (Bryant) who seems to appear out of nowhere to meet the children (guest host Claire Foy, Pete Davidson) of a divorced family who live with their mother (Strong). She extols the virtues of traveling to "somewhere in Florida that doesn't have a beach," seeing their father (Mikey Day) smoke cigarettes indoors and mimic Jimmy Buffett, meet "a lady (Kate McKinnon) who wants to be called by her first name" and sleep on a broken futon.
When the kids ask about presents, Bryant, in a sparkly red dress, goes into nightclub mode, reworking the "Last Christmas" lyrics: "Dad Christmas. He bought you a phone. And when mom found out she got crazy pissed off. He should have consulted with her. But he wanted to buy your affection." With that kind of promotion, don't expect Dad Christmas to become an evergreen holiday.
(USA Today)
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